“Think about kissing as dancing. Yes, there is a prescribed script but always be in tune with what you and your partner want.”- Dr. Aditi Paul.
“Kissing, as we know, is the first base. You go from kissing, then you go for oral sex and then penetrative sex (or some variation of that). So it’s an incremental ladder of building intimacy and exploring your erotism. Think about kissing as a trailer of the movie. If the trailer of a movie sucks, how good would the movie be? Hence, kissing is essentially your sexual primer,” stated Dr. Aditi Paul, sex and relationships professor at Pace University, New York.
Here she shares a few tips on how to become a better kisser.
1. Consent
“The first thing in being a good kisser is consent. Many people would say that asking for consent is so unromantic, and it spoils the moment. To that I would like to say, consent does not always have to be verbal. Consent can also be non-verbal. By observing someone’s body language, you can tell if they want to kiss or not. If you lean in to kiss someone and they lean or are visibly uncomfortable, it is probably not a good idea to kiss them,” said Dr. Aditi.
Don’t take their no as an insult. Maybe they are into you but not ready for a kiss yet, or you caught them off guard. And even if they are not into kissing you, don’t take it personally; they just have a different taste. A major part of being mature is learning how to take no for an answer.
2. Oral hygiene
Another important tip Dr. Aditi gave, and I think it is a biggie, is maintaining oral hygiene. “If you have just smoked, maybe pop a mint and then go in for the kiss. This is not an optional step that you can skip just because you have been in a relationship for 5 years. Even when you are kissing someone with whom you have been in a relationship for 5 years or 2 days, please keep your mouth clean,” she said.
3. Moisturize your lips.
Have you ever tried to kiss someone with rough lips? Doesn’t feel good, right? So it’s all about applying lip balm and prepping your lips before you kiss. If you don’t have anything handy, drink some water or wet your lips with it quickly before leaning on them. This way, the kisses will be much more fun.
4. Tilt your head to the right.
You’ve probably had a really awkward moment if you’ve ever leaned in the wrong direction while kissing. But in many cases, the correct way to tilt your head when kissing is right.
As weird as it sounds, it is scientifically proven.
According to a study, two-thirds of people tilt their heads to the right when kissing. So it’s not rocket science, but learning how to kiss like this helps get rid of some awkward forehead boinking.
5. Kissing is not just about lips.
A very good makeout session is about the neck, the earlobe, the collarbone, the cheeks, and maybe a little teasing if everyone agrees. It’s also about stopping from time to time to look at each other or let the other person know how fun it is to kiss them. There are erogenous spots everywhere, and exploring them can make the joy of kissing even greater.
Don’t be afraid to explore the face or other body parts with your partner’s consent. Share with your partner any place you want to kiss other than their mouth. And learn what they like too.
6. Go with the flow
And at last, the most important thing is to be in sync with your partner’s rhythm. As Dr. Aditi says, “Most of our idea of kissing comes from one of two things, especially if we have not kissed enough people; we have either tried it on our hand or from what we have seen on the screen.”
She continued, “And we think that that is the way to go, but kissing is like tango. Yeah, there are rules to tango, but you should also understand what your partner wants and what you like. You might think that using the tongue is a great approach, but the other person might not like it. So do what you need to do to initiate the kissing, but when it comes to improvising, like holding the neck or sliding down your hands to caress the breasts area or going down and cupping their butts, you have to figure it out. Don’t shy away from talking about kissing and figuring out what you both like.”
