Starting to feel that your marriage is stuck in a rut? If so, one thing you can work on is improving intimacy with your spouse.
Intimacy comes in four types: emotional, sexual, intellectual, and experiential. The one thing they have in common is that they help us form a bond with a person we love. That said, intimacy in marriage can often seem hard to sustain.
The good news: there are plenty of ways to keep the flame of your marriage alive. Here are four simple tips for a happy marriage.
1. Set Aside Time for Conversation
Most long-term relationships require constant work. If there’s no effort put in to maintain them, they can fall apart. Try to maintain good avenues of communication and don’t be afraid to talk about the love you feel for your spouse.
Communication is also the best way to handle problems in a relationship. If you’re having issues, let your partner know about them in a calm and respectful manner. Ignoring major issues will only lead to building up resentment.
2. Revel in New Experiences
Intimacy isn’t all about the physical connection — it’s also about familiarity. To solidify the bond with your spouse, seek out new experiences. When these experiences challenge you, you’ll have to work together to overcome them.
Of course, the most common challenge in a marriage is adding a new member to the family. If you’re not ready for that, consider embarking on a project such as renovating a house. Alternatively, book a trip to a foreign country.
3. Relish in Your Connection
When we start dating someone, everything seems new and exciting. Over time, though, the novelty lessens and the intensity fades. The flip side of this is that the comfort you feel in each other’s company is stronger than ever.
To improve your intimacy, look back and appreciate how far your marriage has come. You can also practice daily reflection to revive some of the former excitement. To learn more about this practice, check out this AA Daily Reflections book.
4. Demonstrate Your Love
When you’re married, it’s easy to assume that your partner knows you love them. This is likely true, but it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t remind them of it. Make a habit out of letting your spouse know that you support and care for them.
Most of the time, this shouldn’t need to involve any grand gestures. Small things like asking how their day was or putting gas in their car are often enough. If they come home from work tired, look into their eyes and give them a loving kiss.
More on Intimacy in Marriage
One final tip: being truly intimate in a relationship means being vulnerable. Without opening up to your partner, your love life will suffer. Making yourself vulnerable may end up with you getting hurt, sure, but the rewards are more than worth it.
