Does Regular Masturbation Make Sex Less Fun, According to Relationship Expert

One of the more iconic scenes in Lust Stories happens when Megha, played by Kiara Advani, achieves an epic orgasm from a vibrator in front of her whole family. This was something she hadn’t been able to experience with her husband, but the vibrator did it for her, and mind it, her whole family was present there to witness it.  

So why is it that the sex couldn’t “ring her bell,” but masturbation did? And can regular masturbation make sex less fun?

“Masturbation is completely natural and it is very common for all genders. Enjoy the process of masturbation rather than worrying about the end goal. Too many people focus on the orgasm at the end rather than relaxing into the process,” Tatyana, a relationship expert psychologist and sex therapist, said. 

How does watching porn affect sex life?

Many people prefer to masturbate while watching porn and things shown in it can sometimes be more exciting than the real sex, so how does watching porn affect one’s experience of sex?

Suzannah Weiss, a certified sexologist, says, “Porn can cause unrealistic expectations in terms of what people’s bodies are supposed to look like and how different sexual acts are expected to go.”

Suzannah continued, “If you feel that porn is making real-life sex less exciting for you because you may be relying on it to get off otherwise your body is used to it, try taking a break from porn or trying it only some of the time when you masturbate.”

Why do I feel less intense orgasms during sex as compared to masturbation?

We are back to Megha’s dilemma. Something her husband couldn’t do for so many months, a vibrator did in just a few minutes. Although it was her first time trying masturbation, many women who have been “playing solo” for a while often complain that the orgasms they feel during sex are less intense than the ones they feel while masturbating. It is because these women know exactly how to get themselves off, something their partners are lacking.

And many times, this comes down to clitoral stimulation, which is a key in female masturbation and is sometimes ignored during hetero sex. The vagina and clitoris are two different parts entirely. And they both respond to touch and stimulation in different capacities.

So it’s a possibility that you enjoy clitoral stimulation more than penetration and your partner is just not able to achieve that when you both make love. This might lead to less or no orgasm. But don’t you worry, this situation can be combated easily. Now that you know what works for you best, you can discuss it with your partner and tell them how you like it. 

So it is clear that it is not masturbation that is ruining sex for you. In fact, masturbation is known to have many proven benefits. Tatyana listed some of them below:

1. Helps you learn what works for you.

Don’t be afraid to experiment. It can be easy to slip into a masturbation rut where you always do the same thing every time. Try new things and different ways to masturbate. Mix it up with your fingers and toys.

It’s incredibly important to get to know your own body because if you don’t know what you like sexually, how can you expect your partner to? By knowing and understanding your own body, you can effectively communicate your needs and desires to your partner. Make time for masturbation and discover what feels good and what doesn’t.

2. Works as a great stress buster.

It’s good for you! When we masturbate, we release the feel-good hormones, including oxytocin and dopamine. Masturbation can help reduce our stress and anxiety levels as when we orgasm, we release the feel-good hormones, which help relax our body and mind. Masturbation can help to strengthen the muscles in your pelvic region. This can lead to better-partnered sex as the are is tighter and stronger, making sex more enjoyable.

3. Take the pressure off your partner.

You shouldn’t rely on your partner to satisfy all of your sexual needs and desires. That puts a lot of pressure on them to please you, and that’s not fair. By pleasing yourself as well as them, you’ll be more satisfied in general.

If you spend more time masturbating than you do having sex with your partner, that can become an issue; if you’re masturbating alongside having sex with your partner, that is fine. There is no hard rule for how much a person should masturbate as everyone is different. You may also go through phases where you want to masturbate a lot and then not so much. That is all perfectly normal.

If you start to become obsessive over masturbation that can be a sign of a bigger issue. Especially if you find yourself masturbating every time you get angry or stressed. Although masturbation can be a great stress reliever, it shouldn’t always be your main solution for stressful situations.