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When it comes to men, society tends to assume they all just automatically have high sex drives. That they’re panting, sexual animals, ready to pounce on anything or anyone you put in front of them.
Increasing Your Sex Drive
Even doctors end up treating men as sexual automatons that are simply hardwired to want sex all the time– but that’s not true at all. Many men (about 1 in 5) have such low sexual desire that they’d rather do almost anything else instead of sex.
Hypoactive Sexual Disorder
It might sound shocking to know that 1 in 5 men don’t want to have sex. It’s not commonly discussed, which is why you probably haven’t heard this statistic before. However, many women have experienced the reality of this stat. These are the women who often hear “not tonight, Dear.” Most people believe that this is a rare occurrence, but almost 30% of women say they have more interest in sex than their partner.
There are many reasons why your libido can decrease significantly. Aging can play a role in a decreased sex drive as hormones start to fluctuate; however, many older men have a robust interest in sex. Like almost every other human trait, sex drive varies. Most men are in the normal range, with some being astonishingly driven towards addiction-like behavior and others having a very low libido at the other end. These are the men that suffer from hypoactive sexual disorder (HSDD).
Hypoactive Sexual Disorder or inhibited sexual desire is treated as sexual dysfunction. What characterizes Hypoactive Sexual Disorder is a lack or absence of sexual fantasies or desire for sex, as defined by a practicing health professional.
Related: 5 Sex Tips Every 30-Something Woman Should Know
What Can Be Done to Help Men With Hypoactive Sexual Disorder?
The answer to this question is complex. This is because the answer depends on what the root cause of the problem is. If there are medical reasons, it is likely best to continue working with a medical professional to treat or manage those issues appropriately. Therapists suggest that shame and relational dynamics may ultimately prevent men from opening up and discussing the issue/s at hand. It is recommended that better communication and supportive partners could potentially reduce the impact of low libido.
There will always be men on both sides of the standard curve, with a certain percentage considered to have the hypoactive sexual disorder for a laundry list of reasons. These include:
- Medical Problems: Diseases such as diabetes or conditions such as obesity, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and HIV drugs, some hair-loss remedies, and other medications can negatively affect your libido. If you regularly take medications, it may be a good idea to speak with your treating health professional to see if they may be changing your sex drive.
- Psychological Problems: The anxiety and stress from demands of daily life, family and relationship problems, depression, and mental disorders – these are all valid factors that can negatively impact sexual desire. If you feel that you or your partner have psychological barriers that are getting in between your intimacy, it’s essential to seek professional help from someone who is trained to help you deal with the problem. It can be a challenging experience to go through, and tackling the issue as a team can often be one of the best ways to show your partner that you care.
- Low Dopamine Levels: Sexual desire involves the brain. The brain’s chemical messaging system is intimately linked with sexual desire. Dopamine is responsible for the regulation of 3 main areas: mood regulation, muscle movement, and motivation. It’s also one of the main chemicals involved during the euphoria of orgasm. If dopamine levels are not high enough, then you or your partner may experience a lack of motivation in the bedroom. Many factors can affect your dopamine levels – 1 of the major ones being consistent drug or alcohol abuse. Regular drug or alcohol abusers suffer from extreme dopamine lows, which cause: lethargy, a downtrodden mood, or even muscle tremors during withdrawal. Please see a doctor if you have any concerns.
- Hormonal Causes: Testosterone is the desire hormone for both women and men. It is a primary reproductive hormone in men and can have a tremendous effect on your sexual appetites. Testosterone levels tend to decrease as men age but can also be affected by chronic diseases, medications, or other drug usages. Low levels of thyroid hormone and prolactin can also have an effect on libido – but to a much smaller extent.
Also Read: Five Must-Try Sex Toys To Bring The Spark In A Relationship
The Importance of Being Open
Every cause for lack of sexual desire has its own solution and treatment. If the root cause is psychological, then counseling or sex therapy can offer men and women-specific strategies and techniques that can help them regain their enjoyment of sex. It’s not psychotherapy; it’s psychological counseling focused on sexual issues. If this is what’s holding you back, there is no shame in talking with a qualified professional. They can help you work through the problems you might be facing and provide you with specific techniques to help you cope better with your situation.
If the case is low testosterone, then testosterone supplements can help men that are dealing with it; that is if the testosterone supplements have measurably low levels. These supplements can be administered via skin patches, injections, or gel formulations that are applied directly to the skin on your chest, shoulder, or abdomen. Please seek medical advice before starting treatments, as hormone changes can negatively affect your health in certain situations.
Men might not always want to admit that they have less than a high and constant interest in sex as there is, unfortunately, still a sense that this could make them be perceived as less ‘manly.’ As a result, it is difficult to know how many men are coming forward.
Until society has become more accepting of varying levels of sexual desire in men, we may never know the actual rates of low sexual desire among men or what leads to that decrease. However, even with these limitations, it is clear that low libido in men exists and that it may be more common than most people realize.
Keeping Sex Life Adventurous
Sometimes, a lack of sexual desire happens when a couple has hit a plateau of excitement. When the sexual experience has become routine, things can get too predictable to be stimulating anymore. The thrill of the act and the power of the anticipation fades, which is a major part of arousal. It’s common for couples in enduring relationships to play it safe, especially when they’ve been together for a longer period of time.
Keeping things fresh and adventurous is important to avoid a lackluster sex life. Getting playful with fun additions like role-playing or using adult bondage can enhance the experience, reigniting the anticipation and arousal.
Finding something that inspires desire again for each individual is key. Bondage play allows those engaged in playing out their innermost desires in an enticing way. Role-playing and bondage gear like bed restraints, tether straps, whips, sex handcuffs, and ball gags might sound intimidating to beginners, but it provides a whole new way to enjoy sex. Acting out the role of a dominant lover or the role of submission gives the experience a whole new dynamic.
Investing in sex toys like vibrators, feather ticklers, anal beads, strap-ons, and whips add all new sensations to intimacy to keep it thrilling and exciting. This level of freedom also allows individuals to discover new sides of themselves alongside their partner, ultimately bringing them closer together as they explore deeper sides of themselves.
